Looking for Inspiration when Shadows Loom

So much creativity within and around me. I have been asking the universe for signs lately. Today when I sat in my office chair, I spotted a large brown spider on the floor beside me. The metallic sheen of its oval body attracted me immediately. I felt both excited and fearful at seeing the spider so close to me. I asked her what her message was and she replied “create”! Why does the urge to create fascinate and horrify me? I even feel this push-pull dynamic as I write this entry. Being creative means putting myself out into the world, look at me. Not just  my facade but come  closer to what’s really inside of me. Will you resonate or will you recoil? The possibility of  judgement is what crushes me and keeps me at a distance from myself. Stil, I write. I have not entirely defeated myself. Thankfully so.